Desperate, Dateless and Faithless

What is a Christian to do when they are getting to that stage where they want to a long-term relationship with a view to settling down and their church is empty of choices? Do they keep praying or do they go to another place to try their 'ong'?

With the change in church demographics over the last few decades, it is evident that there is an obvious imbalance in the skew of certain groups. Teens prefer to hang around their kind so churches have sprung up catering to their preferences and needs. Ditto working professionals. They want a church where they can network with like minded professionals so they leave the traditional churches. This leaves the latter with an older congregation; which is the case in many western churches (and some in Malaysia).

Regardless of whether this is right or wrong, this is the case and what I want to ask is - what happens to those of us (the single ones who have stayed and find this not to be a land of plenty, so to speak?)

There are a few options:

1. "Go way west, young man"

Look, there are 99 non-Christian girls for every 1 Christian out there. So, do you want to go that route and hope that God will change that person and bring her to Christ. And everything will be peachy-keen? It's possible. But it's a risk. And while you may want to quote me story after story where so-and-so married a non-Christian and now, look..they are active church goers, the Biblical injuctions and directional bent is definitely not in that direction

Look at the old Testament prohibitions on intermarrying other tribes. It's not race issue,it's a matter of beliefs.

2. "Go east"

Not to Vietnam, dude. Another church. At least one with more options. It's a well known fact that large charismatic churches have young, single female attendees. So, your chances are better there. So far, so good

But say you hook up. What are the chances of her coming to your church? Slim to none. I have known many great guys who, once married, went over to their wife's church and let their wife determine the choice of church. I know this is contentious so let me lay it on the table - I am conservative. The man is the spiritual leader in the house , or should be. The decision on church choice should at least be a consultative discussion with the final say from the male.

The trouble is that when you join her church, your church dies just a little bit more. And soon, it might die completely. You may say "that's the survival of the fittest". Can I dare you to go say that to God directly? You might find his answer a tad different from what you were expecting

Now, you might say I'm being selfish. Sure, I am. But so is everyone for wanting their way. I just hope that when it comes down to that decision, you recognise the woman in the mirror and I see the man in mine. Okay?


3. " Lay and Pray"

In Mixed Martial Arts, there is an extremely defensive position called "lay and pray". it's when someone is beating the La Brea tar pits outta you and you can't do jack. Your only hope is that the bell rings to save you. Not a bad idea but, man, it's a heckuva way to live!

Sure, pray. But don't lay. There has to be an option out there, and God will provide one. Maybe a donkey will kick you in the nads and you'll be impotent. That'll take care of that. Hey! I didn't say it was the answer you wanted, just an answer.

I guess you see where I'm coming from. I want to see multi-generational churches where growth is organic but darn it, society just doesn't see it that way. And neither do the chicks, which is why I am desperate and dateless..

But faithless?

Not yet. Hey! Why is that donkey coming towards me?

The God who covers all

Sometimes, there comes a time in your Christian walk when you wonder if God is still there. These are those times when that Hallmark type poster on your wall about the one set of footprints just doesn't cut it anymore. What do you do? Do you pray? Confess sins? Go to a rally and have a spiritual experience? Read your Bible?

Yes to all and No to them

Huh? You say. What on earth are you an about?

We tend to make it an issue when we don't hear anything from God, forgetting that many people don't hear things sometimes..But, somehow, they get through life. They go to work, play with their kids and manage not to lose it. However, we as Christians somehow need some special revelation, don't we? If we don't get it, we 'lose it', get all anxious, and then feel guilty about being anxious. We then plead to God to 'show' himself to us - and pout like kids when he doesn't

The essence of common grace is that he has given certain things to the world that shout out this loud, unmistakable cry: " I AM "

And special grace, the saving grace, that includes us into his family whispers: " I am."

Both the same message in a way, yet different. To the world, he declares " I am the one who created the world in whose abundance you enjoy, gave you the soil you now till and poison and the seas that give you sustenance. " Everyone partakes of this.

But to the elect, he almost inaudibly speaks to their heart " I am your saviour, You are mine and I am yours". Only the elect partake of this

If you have been captured by God, saved from eternal damnation through the substitutionary atoning work of Christ on the Cross; then you need to know that there is a centre where the two "I am"'s become one . And your only response in the awesome crux of two meeting points should be:

You are

And the issue that befell you will slip away because you will see with mind, heart and soul that he is a God who covers all. If there is sin, it is the sin of limiting him to just covering that small patch of loneliness for a while like a band-aid.

God is not interested in being your handyplast. He's interested in doing open heart, totally invasive surgery on you. He want to give you a makeover that is total, not purely cosmetic.

He covers all, because the universe belongs to him. Everything, lock stock and barrel..including you.

You can do all the things above and not come to know God any better until you acknowledge that it is God who comes to you, not the other way around. Worse, don't think he obeys your bidding like some servant because you 'pull' the right levers or incantate the 'right' things

That's why I said - yes to all and no to all of the above prescribed remedies